Part 1 : Thought process on should I separate from my high school sweetheart for college?

Many of us have had a “high school sweetheart”, and if you don't … then it's not hard to find an inseparable couple. In fact, I'm one of those people! And I want to share my thought process with the world on a decision that could change my life. I'm a 17 year old young woman who is in a romantic relationship with her “high school sweetheart”. For the sake of this, we’re going to refer to my partner as “Bae”. The best part of our relationship? We are friends before lovers. So far, that's the only person who really understands me and provides me with the non physical things I need to ensure I really feel loved. He’s the person who I can talk to about anything…the one that I don’t mind trusting a little (because I do have trust issues)…the one who I feel a connection to as I’m being held, the one I can look at and just start laughing…the one who's always there for you no matter what. Bae and I have very similar interests and visions for our future self as individuals. We all have that one person we feel like we were made for. Whether it’s a friendship, family member, or romantic person. For me, that person is Bae.

Alright that’s enough… let’s get into the soul of this blog. Me and Bae are currently seniors, which means we have to decide if we’re ready to seperate. We’re really putting much thought into this decision and would rather do what’s best for us as individuals rather than as a couple. For me, I don’t want to let bae go yet. I can, because I’m a strong woman, but if I don’t have to then I won’t…especially if there’s pros to it. I don’t want to say I’m afraid of letting go, but a part of me is. I mean…who wants to let go of their “person”? It’s not easy to find those, they don’t just come walking down the street as you are and the next day you find out you both have a connection. Finding out who your person is takes: time, patience, and effort. I know myself. I know that I tend to search for a person that’s on the same type of timing I’m on, someone who I can vent to and connect with. And to be honest, I know if I let him go I’d probably try to find another person to reach the level of connection (or better) that me and bae has. Whether it’s a best friend or a regular friend. And quite frankly, I really don’t want to do that. Out of my 17 years of feeling abandoned my whole life, I finally found a person that doesnt make me feel like that. Suffering from issues of abandonment is no joke. You could find yourself looking for a friend in anyone. In reality, not everyone is your friend, so when you think you finally have that person…something goes wrong and you just repeat the same process with someone else. Not to mention the feelings and thought process it takes to just move on. It sucks when you think you have a friend and eventually you both grow apart or something comes in between you two. Out of everyone I’ve been friends with, Bae is the one who stuck around the longest and has put in the most effort. I’d rather save myself the time, hurt, and effort into finding “my person” again.

Well now you know a little about me. I know there are high school seniors out there who could relate to my situation, so I thought it’d be a good idea to share my thought process as I lead up to my final decision. Anyone who’s in the position to make this tough decision, I hope you do what you feel is best for you. Sometimes it’s good to let go, sometimes letting go isn’t what’s really needed. You have to be honest with yourself and decide what decision will your future self thank you for!

Don’t forget… This is only part 1 of my thought process.